All alone like three nights already. Have been doing nothing since my companion left. Just stayed the room 24 hours a day, except today though I got to frequent for a little grocery, I run out of the basic needs. I may keep myself isolated, however geared myself with all the connections in the outside so I could still be connected with all that is needed, the TV for the news and teleseryes, my ever reliable but now and again loss of connection (kairita) for the blog hopping and Farmville of course, and the phones for the family and close friends’ daily interaction.
I am sleeping the usual nocturnal type of sleeping habit, having to sleep by 5 in the morning and waking up at like past 1 in the afternoon but have been doing mostly nothing.
My friend left for a while to go and visit her parents in the province. I never asked her when she will be going back so there is uncertainty of when I will be having a house partner again, but I guess she will just stay there for a week. I know she can’t live without her computer. She left it here.
The opportunity of being alone struck, I think this is my time to think and think, over and over for the life I have been doing for many years, realizing every stride I have taken. And just like that. The same thing as ever, it stops there.
I could not think.
I have been reading some inspiring blogs from the outer space ever since I became aware of the world of technology. I have been inspired by them, of how they succeed. How law student became a lawyer and doing satisfactorily as the day by day past. How a struggling bachelor Philippine medical doctor became a US medical doctor, seen how he struggles to achieve the position he dreamed of and work while being well compensated in the States today.
And yet I could not think for myself, I am inspired but just like that.
When will I ever comprehend that I am not living in a fairytale, that everything I have now will come to end sooner. That I should contemplate on mostly the possible things that will happen sooner.
I would always say I am going to stop this and that. I am going to do this and that. But just like that. It stops there. I have no drive, I haven’t driven.
I am losing hope, I am losing hope.
4 comments:
As they always say, the great battle is not between you and another person. It is between you and yourself. Siguro, ayaw la ngun-a pagpirita nga drastic dayon an changes. Start with small things nga karuyag mo bag-uhon. I know it is hard. Been there, done that. Pero ultimately, if you are determined enough, you will triumph over yourself ;)
I wish you luck.
Hello utro, Jeff!
Salamat sa pag-leave comment sa ak blog. I hope I had known previously nga may-ada ngay-an igkasi-Nortehanon nga lurker sa ak blog hehehe.
Hi Jeff,
Kumusta na?
Ada ka sa Manila? May bagyo man dida. Keep safe and keep warm.
Hi Jeff, salamat utro for peeking at my blog.
Post a Comment